Feeling bad

I'm having a bad fibromyalgia flare up right now.  The weather triggered it by fluctuating wildly.  It would be around -20 F at night  and early in the morning and then it would drop to 0 or 1 F.  There was some light icy snow and wind that blows straight through you and the snow stung my face.  That's been going on for about 4 days I think.  I went to lunch with my husband on Friday and when we were walking to the door the wind was blowing in our faces.  It was so cold!

My neck has been hurting so bad and that's a new thing for me.  Fibromyalgia doesn't usually affect my neck that way.  Usually I get pain in my arms, shoulders or hips.  I've been having such a hard time getting to sleep at night because I can't get comfortable.  I can't sleep with my usual pillow and had to get out a softer one and I put a rolled up towel under the back of my neck.  That helped a little.  I also put some lidocaine cream on my neck but I barely felt anything.  I just felt a little bit of tingling but it didn't help with the pain.  It usually helps when I have pain in other areas but I prefer the patches over the cream.  I just don't want to stick something with adhesive on the back of my neck and end up pulling out my hair when I try to take it off.  I've been using ice today and I think that helps more.  

If it keeps bothering me tomorrow I will probably called the place that does Osteopathic manipulation to see if they can help.  They fix my muscle knots but the neck thing is new for me.  I hope it either goes away or they can do something to help.  

For now I'm trying to focus on something else.  I found a crochet blog post - Marly Bird - about planned pooling (color pooling).  They are using Red Heart Super Saver Stripes and the granny stitch to create a neat design.  My brain is a little slow today but I got it figured out and I can't wait to see how it looks when it's finished.  

Oh, and I finally reached my first weight goal yesterday.  I officially reached 218 lbs. and I set my next goal for 199 lbs.  I really want to get below 200.  I can tell my gut is smaller and that makes me happy.  I know my doctor will be happy because we talked about me trying Intermittent fasting again and just trying to go a little longer each day.  I did 16:8 before and didn't lose much weight.  I would just go up and down by little bits.  She suggest I start there and then go a little longer each day.  Now I'm doing one meal a day and haven't been hungry at all.  I also haven't been having the late night cravings anymore.  I think I've lost about 12 lbs and ready to lose more.  I saw her on Jan 24th and started fasting that day so I've lost this weight since then.  I can't wait to tell her I'm finally losing weight.

~D

Valentine's Day

We had a nice date today.  We wanted to avoid the crowds so Chris left work a little early and we went to a bar that has the best fish & chips.  Here in Alaska it's made with halibut and this place has the absolute best.  It was not crowded at all and the food was nice and steaming hot when we got it.  We both do intermittent fasting so we only have one meal in a day.  

When I open the door to get into the car there was a gift in my seat.  My husband surprised me with a new fairy for my collection.  This one is really big and is a steampunk fairy.  It has such cool details all over and I can't stop looking at her.  There are gears all over her wings and they are huge!  Even the thing she is sitting on is neat if you look down at it.  

Her eyes are turquoise blue but it's hard to tell in the picture.  I just love her.  I think she is the biggest one I have now.  She's not the tallest but she is huge with those wings.  The tips of her wings are probably between 6-7 inches apart.  I bet she was expensive.  

My husband bought me a blue fairy for Christmas that probably came from the same place.  They both have clear epoxy on the base but the blue fairy looks like she's sitting in a pond with some cattails around it.  I'm running out off room for my fairies now.  I might have to get another cabinet or shelf.  

He bought me 2 bouquets of flowers because it was hard to pick between them.  He knows I love purple flowers and white roses so the one was perfect but it didn't have any lilies.  I love bouquets that have closed lilies so I can watch them open.  That's why I ended up with two bouquets.  I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day.  

I'm losing weight finally!

It looks like Intermittent Fasting is working this time.  I think the main difference is that I'm fasting longer this time and eating fewer calories.  Last time I tried IF I was doing 16:8 and using the zero app to track it.  Zero is an app that is available for apple and android.  I would lose a little but it didn't last. I just went up and down without making much ground.   I was also tracking my calories so I knew I got at least 1200 calories.  This time I'm still using the zero app but I noticed after I get to 16 hours it says "fat burning" so I decided to go a little longer each day.  I'm tracking my food with the Livongo app and they don't track calories.  They focus on eating healthier food and on portion sizes.  I get feedback from a coach on my food log.  I am trying to eat more non-starchy veggies and work on portion sizes and a balanced plate.   I'm not very good at the balanced plate thing.  I am more of a one thing per meal type person.  I'm learning though. " I've lost 6.2 lbs since I saw my doctor on Jan 24th.

I noticed on my "books I'm reading" page that it says "books I've read in 2021."  I can't edit the pages because of a bug with blogger so I can't change the date.  The widgets are from goodreads.com though so the book's showing are correct.  I'm currently reading The Last Hunt by Bruce Coville.  I'm pretty sure that's the last book in the series.  That is a series I started reading to my 2 sons when they were little but after the 2nd book there wasn't another book released for a long time.  By the time the next book was released my boys weren't interested anymore.  I wanted to know how the story ended though so I'm reading them all.  There are a few short stories available on amazon that tie in to the story line and I read those too.  

I just finished crocheting a hat from a video by the crochet crowd.  I think mine came out a bit big for some reason.  The BERNAT STEPPING TEXTURE HAT is a free pattern available here by Yarnspirations.  The link to the video by The Crochet Crowd is here.  I didn't add a pompom because I hate making them.  I bought the yarn in a 3 pack on amazon which I found is cheaper per skein than at my local Joann store.   I used the shadow ombre colorway.  

I'm going to have one of my son's try it on and see how warm it is in our weather here in Alaska.  I think the colors are pretty.

I'm working on another small crochet thread project too but I have to take a break because of problems with my left eye again.  I have severe dry eye syndrome and get a reoccurring corneal erosion on my left eye.   It used to get huge and painful.  My eye doctor put a embryonic membrane (from Placentia tissue) over my eye and after it was absorbed into my eye the erosion quit happening.  The problem is it didn't quite cover the whole area.  I still have a small spot that keeps hurting.  It starts to heal up but when my eyes dry out at night my eyelid will stick to the new cells where it's healing and pull them off when I open my eyes.  They need more time to adhere to the layer below.  I've been using lubricating ointment in my left eye all during the day too and at  night I wear these goggles that help keep my eye from getting so dry.  I'm being extra vigilant about using drops and I'm avoiding screens most of the day.  I think that will help it heal.  If I can make it to summer it usually is less dry then and I don't have as much trouble. The eye doctor could just do another membrane but it is expensive so I'm trying to avoid that.    

I'm not very good at blogging

I need to post more.  It is already Feb of 2023 and I haven't had much to say.  I need to get out more.  

I have been crocheting and knitting.  I just made a crochet shawl for a gift.  It's finished and all I have to do is weave in the ends but there are over 100!  It will take me a while!  

I've also been reading and enjoying that.  Sometimes I listen to audiobooks with audible and I love that.  It's nice to be able to do something else while listening, which you can't do when reading.  I've been listening to a book while walking on the treadmill.  

I changed my diet plan again and I'm no longer doing Noom.  I lost some weight but it was just up and down the whole year.  I ended up pretty close to where I started but I did learn a lot.  I really think the reading I did there helped.  I just have so many things working against me, including chronic pain, perimenopause and medications that cause weight gain.  If it weren't for those things I really think I would have had more success.  I started doing this app called Livongo, which my insurance pays for.  They sent me a digital scale and blood pressure cuff for free and when I use them the results automatically get sent to the app.  They also have blood sugar meters for people with diabetes.  It just depends on what medical issues your medical history shows you have.  I track my food and there are coaches that give me advice.  I like that I can also print a report to give to my doctor which shows my blood pressure readings and weight over time.   I talked to my doctor recently and she told me some useful tips.  I mentioned that I was trying intermittent fasting and she said that was good.  She talked about that and told me I should look for a book on it.  There is tons of info on the internet.   I took her advice and I've been losing weight finally.  I'm using the zero app to track my fasts.  

D

Rolling Along those Emotional Hills of Life but still Jamming

Life is full of surprises and they are not all good.  I just lost another family member and was shocked because he was so young.  42 years old and suddenly gone.  No, it wasn't covid or cancer or a freak accident.  I guess I don't even know exactly what happened but It was a shock for sure.  I saw a post about him going into the hospital with trouble breathing and next thing I know he's going to hospice.  I am still reeling from losing 4 family members in the last half of 2020.  

So I kind of fell off the diet wagon but I'll get back on.  

For now I seem to be keeping myself busy with reading and making freezer jam.  I had never made freezer jam before but I remember watching my mom make jelly and know that seemed way too complicated.  A friend of mine mentioned that she was making freezer jam and I googled to learn more about it.  She created a monster and now I just want to keep trying different flavors.  I really do think I'm addicted.  

I didn't realize when I first started out that they had a low sugar or no sugar version of Sure Jell.  When my friend mentioned Sure Jell I remembered the yellow boxes that my mom used for making Jelly and that is what I bought.  I was grabbing stuff in a hurry so I didn't notice any other options.  I made dark Sweet Cherry Jam and it was good but it was very sweet.  I made strawberry next and it tastes like strawberry candy.  I finally got some of the low sugar version and just made blue berry freezer jam using this recipe.  I will definitely be making it again.  Next on my list to try is peach jam.  

It has been rainy here so I have spent a few days in bed.  I am doing okay though and just reading when awake and able to think straight.  I picked up one book that I've had a long time and started reading it.  That book is These High, Green Hills by Jan Karon (Book 3 in the Mitford series).  I'm enjoying that book and love the other two I read also.  That is definitely an inspirational series and I'm surprised I haven't read all of these books already.  

Then I happened to pick up another book, Darkhouse (Joe Lucchesi #1) by Alex Barclay, and started reading that one.  I often read multiple books at once and switch off depending on my mood.  I'm doing pretty good keeping it to these two actually.  This book is so good I quickly read half of the book.  Alex Barclay is now a new favorite and I'm already looking at her other books.  

D

Diet fail

Yesterday was not a good day for my diet.  I was not feeling well and pretty much stayed in bed all day.  I did fast for 17 hours but then blew it when I ate too much.  I have a hard time controlling myself when I don't feeling well.  I tend to just say, "F.... it" and just eat what I want.  I didn't eat all bad stuff but mostly ate too much.  I didn't even track anything because I didn't want to see the numbers.  

I weighed in this morning and my weight is a little up but not as much as I feared.  I am going to try to do better today and maybe I can make up for my mistake.  

I need to be more careful on days that I don't feel well because that happens a lot.  There has to be a way  to keep from going off the rails every time that happens.  I'll have to think on that.  

D

Week 1 over, Starting Week 2 of Intermittent Fasting

I think I did pretty good for my first week of 16:8 intermittent fasting.  I lost 4 lbs. and I'm ready to lose more.  I really think changing my total calories to 1200 is helping.  My husband bought a set of allen wrenches to tighten up my treadmill since I lost the one that came with it.  I also oiled the belt so it is running nice and smooth now.  I try to walk every day and if the weather is bad I can still walk inside.  Sometimes I just don't feel well and don't want to go outside and wave to the neighbors etc.  I also like that I don't have to worry about what I look like and can just walk in my pajamas if I want.  

When I first started I got really hungry and it was really hard not to overeat when my fast ended.  I quickly learned to eat something more filling or I'd end up eating more.  The first day I had cereal and that left me feeling hungry.  Now I am picking foods that are heavier and more satisfying.  After the first few days it got easier and I even went a little bit longer.  Sometimes I went an hour to an hour and a half longer.  I hope it keeps getting easier.  

I have been just eating two meals and usually end up skipping breakfast.  That works for me anyway.  

Okay, I'm ready for week 2.

D

Gaining Weight

I'm such a mess right now.  I am so upset with myself.  Over the past few months my weight has steadily been increasing.  Some months ago when I was going to Physical Therapy I was around 190 lbs.  I was trying to lose weight but just sat there like an anchor.  Since then I have been steadily gaining and I've been kicking myself with each pound.  I see the number on the scale and vow to work harder to lose, to eat less and to exercise more.  It just doesn't do any good and I feel so hopeless.  I feel like I'm fighting an impossible battle or some evil spirit has a ghostly toe on the scale behind me making the numbers go up.  

I know it could be part of perimenopause.  I'm getting older and that I know I can't do anything about.  I've been getting the hot flashes and been a bit cantankerous at times.  My monthly has been... well, not monthly.  At one point I went 6 months without one.  

I also have 2 conditions that cause me to suffer from chronic pain.  I have Fibromyalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis.  It is difficult to exercise when it hurts to move but I did get a treadmill and try to walk every day - even when every step hurts.  I start off slow and gradually increase but I usually never make it to 2 mph.  I also can't seem to walk much longer than 10 to 15 minutes at a time.  My Rheumatologist suggested that I walk for 10 minutes 3 times a day but so far I haven't been able to.  That is my goal though.  

A doctor recently put me on Lyrica for restless legs and I read that weight gain is the number one side effect.  I take one other drug that also has weight gain as a side effect.  That means I need to work harder to offset that.  

I also have to fight myself.  I get down and depressed at times and just feel like giving up.  Sometimes in the evenings after carefully measuring my food and tracking my calories I start feeling down and resent myself for being so weak.  I feel like my efforts are useless and start binging on whatever I can find like somehow that will make me feel better.  It's like I can't stop myself even though I know that is silly.  

Today I stepped on the scale and it read 220.  I cried.  I've gained 30 pounds in a matter of months.  When my husband needed to lose weight he starting doing intermittent fasting and it seemed to be easy for him.  He only ate one meal a day (dinner) but tracked his calories and made sure he got enough.  He did though, eat whatever he wanted.  He likes to have a piece of cheesecake or a donut at times.  He likes potatoes and with fasting it seemed to not matter for him.  He did talk to his doctor and got her approval and she is very happy about his progress.  He's doing great and has been able to drop his blood pressure med and takes less blood sugar meds.  He wanted me to try it too and I did but even though I was doing the same thing it wasn't working for me.  He doesn't understand and keeps telling me, "you have to track your calories" as if he's sure I'm not.  

Recently I started reading about intermittent fasting.  I read that it doesn't always work as well for woman.  That means I have to do something different.  I think I need more structure and to eat lower carb foods.   I decided to start with the 16:8 version and downloaded the Zero app on the play store.  I have been doing it for about a week.  I still gained a few pounds.  I lost it and almost gave up but today is a new day.  It's Monday... the start of a new week and I'm going to begin again.  

I hit the button to start tracking my fast last night at 9:34 pm.  I usually like to start at 6 pm but I have to start somewhere.  Now I'm trying to keep myself distracted.  I'm drinking lots of water and I have been walking around the house.  I walked around the backyard with my dog and it's a beautiful sunny day today.  I did 10 minutes on the treadmill and did actually make it to 2 mph for at least a few minutes.  

I decided to blog about this thinking that would keep me motivated.  I don't care if no one ever reads this.  It helps to write it out and I think it might even help keep me from another crash and burn.  

D